It's about time.

I want to be the kind of person who does the right thing.

Not just the big things, the ones that are obvious what is right and what is wrong,

but in the little things, the subtle unnoticed things... you know what I do when no one is watching.

Because it is so easy to let those kinds of things slip away.

The kinds of things that shape who you are as a person.

It's been a long time since I felt like I was inline with what I have found to be The Way.

It's not that I have turned away from my faith, I am there intellectually,

I am just disconnected at heart. The more I learn about New Testament history and theology I love it. I am eating it up, but it's been hard. It's been hard to turn my attention so much to the scholarly study of what is my source of guidance, authority, and inspiration. I feel like I am psychoanalyzing my dad.

My discipline has fallen through the cracks and think this has killed me.

I have been tired, lonely, and brain dead.

I can't read, I can't listen to sermons, I can't seem to get inline with God.

I just sit on facebook, or youtube, or just hang with people and not doing anything.

I have fallen into a rut and I am so afraid I am missing out on things around me.

I can't wait to go home. To have a shift in place so I can move away from the books for awhile and work on who I am.

Because right now I feel empty. Right now I feel like I am out of gas. Right now, I feel like I'm in sin.

Bring me back to life. Unlock my spirit so I can pour it out again. I am ready to look people in the eyes. I am ready to listen, and care, and give.

Break me from this shell of a person that is developing.

It's time now.